It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
