So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
