Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize