that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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