just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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