I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
