before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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