My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
