# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
