Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
