i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
