I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
This toilet bowl is my home.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
