It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
