her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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