im having a threesome with these popsicles
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
