piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So much rum. So many feels.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
