You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
