Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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