sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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