They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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