I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
