Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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