I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
