Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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