don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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