There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
