i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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