just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
