Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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