We got so high we made milksteak
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
