Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
