Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
