My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize