That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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