hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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