Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
