I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
