god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he fucked my hip out of place.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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