$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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