I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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