I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
