just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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