Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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