There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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