Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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