AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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