Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
