we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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