Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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