I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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