Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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