he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
