btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
