ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
did i just pee glitter
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
