Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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