Sry I called you an 8
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
