He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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