dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
