she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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