i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
