wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
