watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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