i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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