I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
